If this cat could find shoes in his size, he’d order these.

If this cat couldn’t digest gluten, he’d read this blog. Since he can’t read, either, he won’t realize this is a shameless self-promotion.

If this cat were gay, and I mean really, who’s to say, he might admire some of these men, many of whom are also non-humans.

If this cat had a television set in 1987, which he did not, he might have watched Andy Warhol’s show.

If this cat desired a tomato sauce recipe with only three ingredients, and had internet access, he might find this one to be quite delicious.

Get ‘em, girl.