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FUN POP-QUIZ!!!

Circle the Jim Jones who led to the deaths of over 900 innocent people!

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An eerie tape-recording of Jones’s voice opens the excellent 7” release from a young NYC band called Cults, who is the flagship signee of Gorilla Vs. Bear’s new record label, Forest Family Records. On the opening track “Go Outside” Jones echoes “but to me, death is not a fearful thing, it’s living that’s treacherous” underneath a wistful xylophone hook and some reel-to-reel hiss. The two-piece soon expands their sound into something like 60’s girl-group pop crossbred with dreamy/dreary psychedelica—lots of reverb guitar, toy piano, echoed vocals, and of course: xylophone. Have a listen:

Go Outside Cults – Go Outside

Most Wanted Cults – Most Wanted

The Curse Cults – The Curse

Forest Family only pressed 400 of these puppies (which sold out pretty quickly), but you can nab a free download of the whole thing… here!

PS – Todd P will be hosting Cults along with Sleigh Bells at Ridgewood Temple on May 11^th.

To celebrate the official 2010 blossoming of life, I thought I’d share some lovely Twin Sister with you. If you haven’t heard this NY-based band yet, start hearing them. And as luck should have it, if you’re in New York, go out and hear them tonight at Glasslands!

Enjoy. Open a beer, bottle of wine, or canned margarita. (Do they make those yet?)

Twin Twin Sister – Lady Daydream

Twin Twin Sister – Phenomenons

Twin Twin Sister – Ribbon Bow

-One freak’s commentary on one song each week-

In a short amount of time, there will be a party to honor the birthday of one John Oates—the moustachioed force behind half of the genius 80’s pop duo, Hall & Oates. In honor of this party, I have been considering music from the 80’s a great deal lately.

The 80’s is the decade whence I was born, and though I wasn’t fully aware or rational for most of those seven years, I’ve always felt innately attracted to them. Perhaps it was the environment of my formative years—John Hughes films, Huey Lewis & The News, and Thirty-Something constantly drifted in and out of my consciousness during this time. Figures like John Hinckley, Max Headroom, and “the Coreys” all meant something to me… though I wasn’t sure exactly what. Somewhere, something inside of me was programmed to like synthesizers, speckled blazers, and short-haired business women.

Now, my generation is grown, and we collectively embrace the faint scents of the 80’s. You can find them in mutated forms in our fashion, music, novels, and patterns of drug use. Yet with all the things we took with us from the 80’s, we left a lot behind as well. As I sifted through my music collection, I realized there were a lot of mediocre albums I had clung to (mostly due to unexplainable cultural cache) while there were a lot of great albums that had fallen to the wayside. Upon this realization, it became my desire to centrifuge the decade in search of a true 80’s masterpiece—a song that summed up the paranoia, the apathy, the experimentation, and the odd sense that tomorrow was already here.

What follows is my first candidate for this honor:

The The The The – This is the Day

After leafing through a number of go-to 80’s pop artists, I stumbled upon an album that I downloaded some time ago, but had not listened to much in the past three years. The album Soul Mining was released at the dawn of the decade, 1981, by a collective that went by the smirking meta-name, The The.

The album is brilliant, and encompasses the positive artistic attributes that emerged from the 80’s. Musically, the collective dabbled in drum machines, synthesizers and accordions. The percussions are heavy, the bass repetitive, and the vocals distant. The album is themed around sociopolitical disgust, detachment, and science fiction. It sounds to be desperately longing for a return to small human joys and a departure from the overblown, overwrought big governments and capitalist markets that dominated the modern landscape.

Soul Mining’s centerpiece is the aptly titled, “This is the Day,” which lyrically continues to reassure the listener “you’re life will surely change, this it the day when things fall into place.” The song tells the story of a person who has spent the night awake, unable to sleep upon a major crossroads of their existence. The song is light and optimistic, but only optimistic in knowing that things have to be different from what they were before. The The use a clapping track, an accordion, a fiddle, and a synth hook to deliver their message of hope.

This song is the first candidate (and a strong one at that) because it seems to precognitively explore all the themes of the decade—the Cold War, the fall of the Berlin Wall, eight years of Reaganomics, floods of big business and money, drugs and clubs. The song is a looking forward point, a moment after a major realization, a hope for something different, something better. It kind of feels like we’re always waiting for that, but maybe never so much as we were at the end of the 70’s and during the rest of the 80’s.

More songs will follow. Please leave some thoughts.

Turns out, 8

Rather than hoard this wealth of knowledge, I have invited 82 guest columnists to contribute nuggets of wisdom to the public at large. Each week, a certified and licensed 8^th grader will impart words of advice on topics such as relationships, chemical dependency, and existential crises.

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Words from Joshua:

“Right now I’m livin’ in Player City. I can’t even stay single.”

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As spring begins to bud, the minds of the young at heart turn from hibernation to fornication. Over the last week, children from Topeka to Timbuktu have been running around, and as Bobby Brown said best, “humpin’ around”—just like wild mongeese (that’s the plural form, right?).

And why not? The sun is beginning to tease us; the layers of clothing are beginning to shed. In my 8^th grade class alone I counted 11 breakups and 17 new relationships this past week—and Joshua found himself tallied in both of those categories. On Thursday his week-old relationship ended abruptly, and by the time he left school on Friday afternoon he had already begun courting a fresh new lass. He’s not just bragging—Joshua is officially living in Player City!

As a perpetual single individual, in a city full of single individuals, I say, “look to the children!” We have been cloistered for several dreary months—let us abandon our isolation and turn murk into mirth!

New Yorkers were recently rated the unhappiest people in the country by a “university” study. I say: “let’s prove those eggheads wrong and turn this mutha into a Player City of our own!”

Thanks Joshua.

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PS – Gob Bluth agrees: “How do we filter out the teases? We don’t let them in. This goes for the guys too, because sometimes the guys are tapped out. But check your lease, man, because you’re living in Fuck City!”

They say of the month of March that it comes “in like a lion and out like a lamb,” but those in the state of New York know better. In reality, March is “in like a polar bear, then sort of like a seal for a little while—where it’s still pretty cold, but you bake on a warm rock in the sun—then like a stuffed rabbit riding a caribou, then a robin flying back north, then, finally, out like a warm plate of veal.”

In spite of this slightly pessimistic knowledge that twenty-seven years within the Empire State affords one, it is nonetheless refreshing to don a light jacket or warm sweater for an entire weekend. But a word to the wise: don’t pack that winter coat away… just yet.

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This weekend, in celebration, I walked and looked at humans—those phenomenal things. Happiness was omnipresent, drinks flowed without concern of cost, and bare necks brought a tear to many a Ray-Banned eye. Even more importantly, a lighter soundtrack played in my mind-jukebox, and I believe, the collective mind-jukebox of a city. (For the last few months my nickels had only been buying White Denim, Wu-Tang, and Fleetwood Mac.)

As I traversed the snow-free sidewalks of Brooklyn and Manhattan, I heard strings and vocal harmonies and major chords. Free of chapping, I believe I even pursed my lips and whistled a few bars. It was lovely to be amongst people who weren’t just rushing towards a vestibule or charging about with their rosy faces towards the ground. We were all just walking, with a peaceful gait.

If it hasn’t been said yet, it should have been:

“He who walks with a destination in mind walks with a sense of pride. He who has no destination, walks with a sense of wonderment. He who does not walk, sits or lays.”

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I will now share with you some of the songs in heavy rotation in my mind-jukebox. I encourage you to share with me, and the readers of glassesglasses. Hasta luego!

Cumbias En Moog – Cumbia Del Sal Cumbias En Moog – Cumbia Del Sal

Oh No Ono – Helplessy Young Oh No Ono – Helplessly Young

The Morning Benders – Excuses The Morning Benders – Excuses

ATCQ – After Hours A Tribe Called Quest – After Hours

Think About Life – Johanna Think About Life – Johanna

I spoke to a friend of mine this weekend that I consider a  life-guru—one of those people who has an infinite reserve of energy and is naturally good at anything they get their hands into. We drank red wine out of empty beer glasses and I voiced my concerns about the “working for the weekend” lifestyle. Like, isn’t there more to life than this?

He agreed. Then he said, “but this is fun.”

Maybe I’m misconstruing his words, that is, twisting them to selfishly validate my lifestyle–but I really needed to hear that.

People have fun in different ways. Some people collect miniature spoons. Some people watch “Dancing With the Stars.” Some people dress their dogs up like humans. I go out. And there’s nothing wrong with that. As long as it’s done in fairly good taste.

So for the first time in a while, I wasn’t ready for the weekend to end. In fact, I could have used another three or four days. I explored majestic North Brooklyn, spent time with old friends and new ones, and made some questionable decisions.

Today, I salute the adventure of the weekend, and all other beauties it encompasses. Whatever it is you have fun doing—do it more often.

Gold Zebra – Six Years Gold Zebra – Six Years

Rather than hoard this wealth of knowledge, I have invited 82 guest columnists to contribute nuggets of wisdom to the public at large. Each week, a certified and licensed 8^th grader will impart words of advice on topics such as relationships, chemical dependency, and existential crises.

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Words from Rahmel:

“I am 10% black, 50 % ninja, 30% never give up, but actually, it’s 99% never give up.”

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Rahmel’s math may be a little off, but his words are 189% AWESOME!!!

As winter drags on (thanks, asshole groundhog) sometimes we feel like just plain “giving up.” It seems like every day it’s harder to get out of bed and go to work in the rain, the snow, and the punishing wind. In addition, the sun has been hibernating for the better part of four months, which means we haven’t been getting enough Vitamin S.

But we can’t give up! For at the end of the cold and gloom is the deliverance of precious UV rays and the freedom of unbound flesh. Soon we will be able to mount our bicycles, hop on our skateboards, and god forbid, strap on our rollerblades, and the clouds will rue the day they ever came to town!

Inside of us all is a black ninja who never gives up. All you have to do is reach inside and embrace him or her.

Thanks, Rahmel

PS – Yes, black ninja is a thinly veiled reference to Tracy Morgan’s fictional 30 Rock film, Who Dat Ninja? Be sure to go see Cop Out, in theaters today!

1) I missed last week’s post because I was down in the Big Easy showing my breasts for plastic beads shaped like pot leaves. Much props to N’Orleans for its drive-thru daiquiris, crawfish etouffee, and street-corner brass bands. But mostly, thank you for all the beautiful hip-hop of the Dirty South. I haven’t heard that much No Limit since the Master P episode of “Cribs.” Plus, I heard one of my favorite hip-hop jams that NEVER gets any play in NYC:

Da Entourage – Da Bunny Hop Da Entourage – Da Bunny Hop

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2) Whadda party on Saturday! Thanks for coming and putting up with this:

C&C Music Factory – Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now) C&C Music Factory - Gonna Make You Sweat (Everybody Dance Now)

Miley Cyrus – Party in the USA Miley Cyrus - Party in the USA

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3) I’m keeping this post brief since I know y’all have maaaaad chat-rouletting to do. I ate at two restaurants this weekend where the people at the next table were laughing about chat-roulette experiences. Wow. This thing is a serious social phenomenon. Like pogs, but creepier. Here’s a list of my top 5 songs to chat-roulette to:

Q Lazarus – Goodbye Horses Q Lazarus – Goodbye Horses (for maximum creep factor)

George Michael – I Want Your Sex George Michael – I Want Your Sex (if jerking off is ur thang)

Bone Thugs-N-Harmony – Bud Smokers Only Bone Thugs-N-Harmony – Bud Smokers Only (for the dudes ripping bongs)

MGMT – Time to Pretend MGMT – Time To Pretend (for dorm room bros juz chillin)

Miley Cyrus – Party in the USA Miley Cyrus – Party in the USA (perfect for all occasions)

Spin that wheel!

Rather than hoard this wealth of knowledge, I have invited 82 guest columnists to contribute nuggets of wisdom to the public at large. Each week, a certified and licensed 8^th grader will impart words of advice on topics such as relationships, chemical dependency, and existential crises.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Advice from Q:

“When 2012 comes, our world’s gonna turn into District 9, and everyone’s gonna be mutated. Dogs are gonna have three heads and huge muscles, and fish are gonna be as big as a bus, and sharks and whales are gonna be as large as central park.”

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What a startling post-apocalyptic vision! Nothing is scarier than dogs with HUGE muscles!

Over the last few days, the East Coast has experienced several crippling blizzards. Last month, Haiti was dealt a mammoth blow by a 7.0 magnitude earthquake. During the first decade of the aught’s, we lived through Hurricane Katrina, the Tsunami, and eight years of the Bush administration. Maybe Q is right… perhaps the world is coming to an end?

If Q is on point, what’s your plan for 2011? Are you going to live it up “Joe Versus the Volcano” style—maxing out credit cards, sailing to distant tropic islands and making out with Meg Ryan? Q personally told me he was going to eat nothing but Starbursts and Combos while playing Call of Duty during 2011. Me? Well, I’ve always wanted to see the aurora borealis.

I guess, even if the world doesn’t end in 2012 (and for some reason we don’t mutate into the aliens from District 9), I’d still like to see the aurora borealis. I’m also willing to bet good money that Q will eat a lot of Starbursts and Combos while playing Call of Duty regardless of the fate of humanity.

So maybe the point isn’t when the world is going to end, but in fact, that it shouldn’t really make a difference. I can only recall a few days that I would have been really satisfied with if the world started to cave in on itself later that night. Perhaps we should be worrying less about trivial issues and focusing more on creating those kinds of days, before we’re, um, like, dead.

So grab hold to the cliches: There’s no time like the present! We should all start living for today! Carpe Diem!

Thanks, Q.

You were the best Superbowl ever because you played my favorite Canadian indie-rock band, Arcade Fire, like twenty times. Also, Superbowl, you announced the rejuvenation of New Orleans—the comeback story of the decade. Does this mean George Bush finally cares about black people?

As if all of this Arcade Fire didn’t have me stoked enough, the people of Haiti got something out of it too. I just hope Pat Robertson doesn’t divert all the donations from the devil to Jesus. He’s already got the tithe.

I know you’re super busy, but I have a few questions for you:

1) Did Reggie Bush choose the song “Wake Up” For his super-cool slow-mo commercial?

2) Did Drew Brees crank Funeral in his son’s wicked-huge headphones to make his papa’s first superbowl victory all that more melodramatic?

3) Did that asshole Wayne Coyne donate anything to Haiti (aside from a shitty new album)?

4) I swore I heard Jim Nantz humming “Wake Up” when CBS came out of commercial break. Is this true?

5) Did this large-hearted gesture ensure the band duel-citizenship?

6) Is Grizzly Bear pissed that Arcade Fire stole the spotlight from their big crossover moment?

7) Did Win Butler blow coke off Kim Kardashian’s ass with Reggie Bush at the Superbowl after-party?

8] Will Girls perform at the Superbowl XLV halftime show? (They’re so rad!)

Thanks again, superbowl! Let’s go wake-boarding some time this summer!

xoxo, Smith