Author Archives: smith

Human. Brooklyn. English Teacher. Grad Student. Aspiring _________. DJ (lamoustachedj@gmail.com). Suddenly, a blogger. Marry Me.

The Ides of March / A Lighter Fare

New York sprung alive this weekend with the scent of spring. Public parks buzzed, brunchers dined on patios, and sunglasses dominated the landscape. Ah, if only it wasn’t but a brief illusion! A momentary reprise!

They say of the month of March that it comes “in like a lion and out like a lamb,” but those in the state of New York know better. In reality, March is “in like a polar bear, then sort of like a seal for a little while—where it’s still pretty cold, but you bake on a warm rock in the sun—then like a stuffed rabbit riding a caribou, then a robin flying back north, then, finally, out like a warm plate of veal.”

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HERE’S TO WEEKENDS / GOLD ZEBRA

Usually, I’m sort of ready for the weekend to end. Let me be clear: this is NOT because I want to go back to work. Usually I’m ready for the weekend to end because I need to recalibrate my being. Like, you know, stop drinking.

I spoke to a friend of mine this weekend that I consider a life-guru—one of those people who has an infinite reserve of energy and is naturally good at anything they get their hands into. We drank red wine out of empty beer glasses and I voiced my concerns about the “working for the weekend” lifestyle. Like, isn’t there more to life than this?

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ADVICE FROM AN 8th GRADER

Words from Rahmel: “I am 10% black, 50 % ninja, 30% never give up, but actually, it’s 99% never give up.”

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PARTY, NOLA, & CHAT ROULETTE SOUNDTRACK

Hey everyone. A few things today:
1) I missed last week’s post because I was down in the Big Easy showing my breasts for plastic beads shaped like pot leaves. Much props to N’Orleans for its drive-thru daiquiris, crawfish etouffee, and street-corner brass bands. But mostly, thank you for all the beautiful hip-hop of the Dirty [...]

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ADVICE FROM AN 8th GRADER

Advice from Q: “When 2012 comes, our world’s gonna turn into District 9, and everyone’s gonna be mutated. Dogs are gonna have three heads and huge muscles, and fish are gonna be as big as a bus, and sharks and whales are gonna be as large as central park.”

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ARCADE FIRE WIN THE SUPERBOWL!!!

Dear Superbowl XLIV,
You were the best Superbowl ever because you played my favorite Canadian indie-rock band, Arcade Fire, like twenty times. Also, Superbowl, you announced the rejuvenation of New Orleans—the comeback story of the decade. Does this mean George Bush finally cares about black people?
As if all of this Arcade Fire didn’t have me stoked [...]

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ADVICE FROM AN 8th GRADER

Advice from Luiz: “They wanted me to make me to take pills at my old school, but I told them I was too niice* for that shit.”

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Holden Caulfield’s Comfort Music

It was a pretty tragic week for bookworms across the world. On Wednesday we lost history buff, WWII veteran, and all-around genius Howard Zinn. Then reports surfaced that the reclusive and highly influential fiction writer J.D. Salinger had also passed. Double-whammy.
After work on Friday, the teachers from my school congregated for happy hour. Being the [...]

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Conan’s Best Musical Guests

No doubt you’ve kept abreast of the late night shake-up unfolding over the past couple weeks. I have to admit, I myself feel a bit guilty about Conan’s sudden change in fortunes (relatively speaking). I’m sure many of my demographic feel similarly—for it was us that fueled the success of NBC’s lanky, wire-framed longshot. Conan [...]

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Morris Day and the Time

-One freak’s commentary on one song (or artist) each week-
Not too long ago I met up with some friends for drinks at one of my favorite Brooklyn bars called Moe’s. Moe’s is great for a number of reasons—it’s rather unpretentious, it draws an eclectic crowd, it’s located in the underrated neighborhood of Fort Greene, it [...]

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Solving the Lady Gaga Mystery

-One freak’s commentary on one song (or human) each week-
There are many longstanding mysteries on our vast planet: the Great Pyramids, Stone Henge, crop circles, the number of licks it takes to get to the center of a Tootsie Pop. But during the last two years a new mystery has materialized that has scientists and [...]

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2009, I Sort of, Liked It.

-One freak’s commentary on one song (or year) each week-
In spite of my strong efforts to remain a curmudgeon, I have to admit that 2009 was a good year for music. I haven’t felt this strongly about mainstream pop, hip-hop, indie-rock, or indie-indie rock, in like, forever. I think it can be attributed to the [...]

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The Formative Years, A Review (2007-2008)

-One freak’s commentary on one song (or decade) each week-
What follows is part 3 of my 3 part series on the albums that defined the last ten years. In case you’re just tuning in:
The Formative Years (2000-2003)
The Formative Years (2004-2006)
Today, I wrap up a decade of oddness. Starting with y2k and 9/11 and hurtling towards [...]

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The Formative Years, A Review (2004-2006)

-One freak’s commentary on one song (or decade) each week-
This week is a continuation of my decade-end reflection on the albums that meant something to me—and likely—a good portion of our “generation.” In case you missed the first one:
The Formative Years (2000-2003)
So this week I would like to share the albums that I fell in [...]

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The Formative Years, A Review (2000-2003)

-One freak’s commentary on one song (or decade) each week-
If you read my column, you know that it’s built on a foundation of reminiscence. I peddle nostalgia. Why? I guess in part it’s because I’m prematurely becoming a grumpy old man when it comes to music—heralding “the good ole’ days” and rebuking a number of [...]

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