Springtime is HERE. Today, at least, and at the Brooklyn Botanic Garden.
The Oscars were on recently. If you missed them, a nice substitute is here at McSweeney’s Meta Awards.
In case you DID miss them, get hip to the first lady of film, Kathryn Bigelow.
Maybe you are a sourpuss and already miss winter, like this lynx [...]
Author Archives: olivia
LYNX (!) winter is never over
On historical cross-referencing
o the other evening I was making my way to something cultural, oh I don’t know, a book signing or something. I am a lady of society and therefore was wearing a long coat. Also it is winter outside, and it always will be. I am proud of this long coat, because it is cutting-edge. By “cutting edge” what I mean is that it has an “interesting shape” which is just a fancy way of saying “it doesn’t look that good on me”.
Just because you like an article of clothing does not mean it likes you back. That evening I wrestled with the green beast – no, not jealousy, I mean this coat – squeezing it into new shapes with a belt, sprucing it up, like a spruce tree at Christmas,with different accoutrements. Something was wrong, and I couldn’t put my finger on it. I sighed, giving up on Fashion for the evening, grabbed my bag and … oh. That’s when I saw the problem. In the mirror. The long, green coat, which had always seemed a little bit World War II, Rosie the Riveter out for cocktails or something, had suddenly revealed its true colors. Dusty green, and, well, I looked like a Civil War reenactor. Complete with leather satchel, which had suddenly transformed, in my mind, to my trusty musket case.
LYNX (!) books. movies. girls.
And to think I defended American Apparel for “at least they don’t airbrush.” (Semi-NSFW.)
Do I recognize you from… that Palmolive commercial?
Best of the best: Writing Advice.
And then: one girl did it. One Girl, One Novel.
New York, I Love You is on Netflix Instant now. It is the worst. Let me prevent you from making that [...]
you have what it takes
Being a New Yorker is built-in preparation for long-distance travel. Anywhere I go, on a normal city day, I go dressed as a pack mule. I might have a yoga mat, diagonal across my back. I will have a purse full of regular purse things, all of which are extremely heavy. Maybe I will have an attaché case (read: canvas bag) for my laptop computer, and an additional canvas bag, just in case. I will have packed my lunch, because New York City is expensive. I will have packed a change of shoes, because New York City is huge. I will have packed toiletries, because Brooklyn is far and I’d hate to go all the way home to come back again, just for a fresh twirl of mascara.
LYNX (!) all about me
This week I drop all pretense of being this bearded cat and reveal my true identity!
Or at least some scraps of it, such as:
I am from the greatest city on earth and I have the music video to prove it.
It is my dream (nightmare!) to design a fashion show such as this.
the vacation conundrum
The better your trip, the worse your real life will seem upon your return. Because I live in New York, I automatically find it to be the superior dwelling place of Planet Earth. I like to come back from a trip kissing the tarmac at JFK, gulping in the stale subway air, talking to myself in a crowd and rejoicing in my sustained anonymity.
There will come a time, New Yorkers, when you will be tested.
LYNX (!) what’s up is down
This week, on the INTERNET. The distinguished cat serves a glass of water, half full and half empty.
canadian-lynxSnow may save us all: none of us would dare put a slushy boot on a subway seat.
So that’s the good news, and the bad news!
the morning death wish
The beautiful thing is that you just never know, like, you just don’t, you are getting dressed in the morning and feeling very strongly the privacy of your space. Your apartment is your cocoon and never mind the other eight million people in the city who may also be getting up, trying on a shirt, buttoning it the wrong way and throwing it on the floor. Never mind the million other cups of coffee getting splashed on a skirt, never mind the million frantic watch-glances, just around the middle of eight o’clock AM.
LYNX (!) the wide, beautiful world
It’s an extra-good week in Lynx-Land, and I don’t mean Romania though the noble Lynx is the national animal. “Lynx” is also the name for the Central Florida Regional Transportation Authority but what I’m talking about today is the Internet.
A bitch(y/ing) advice column.
A new (old) cooking show.
Speaking of food: eating (well) on $7 a [...]
you can’t ask that
For a combination of reasons, I put on high heels and a (faux) fur coat and headed north. To the South Bronx. Not many of us here are lucky enough to be invited to the South Bronx, but I was, to a housewarming party. To say that it is far away is an understatement, especially when you live in an equally remote and unsavory-sounding neighborhood. But as someone who currently dwells in a seemingly remote and unsavory sounding neighborhood… and likes it, I was excited for the trip.
LYNX (!) get ‘em girl
If this cat could find shoes in his size, he’d order these.
a tale of two tweezers
I have my spies now, intrepid reporters, walking the streets and riding the public transportation of America’s finest cities with their eyes wide open; both in eager anticipation to – and in abject horror at – what they see.
Lately, a text message from a friend in Boston.
LYNX (!) believe it or not
Good afternoon, web surfers.
First things first: a gaga art project, re: last week’s Freakbook. Believe what you see.
Today’s horoscope: a little late in the day, so you doubters can see if it seems true. Still feeling doubtful? Believe this: hire a bear to help you maintain your New Year’s resolutions.
I have trouble believing that anyone [...]
wherein I offer no answers
I know the second, unwritten tag-line of this column is: “you just can’t make this stuff up.” It’s true. You can tweak it or gloss it or set it in another city, you can re-name everyone and claim events for your own that happened to others, but you really cannot pull this stuff out of thin air. I mean, there’s just no need to. Take a walk with me, my friends, keep one eye to the ground and the other wide open and blood-shot-edly unblinking and you, too, will revel in the ever-unfolding quilt of madness that is the human race.
LYNX (!) resolutions
First, learn to apply eyeliner like this svelte cat.
Second, take my pants off more often, in different circumstances.
Keep a diary, like Dolly Parton does.
Eat more butter.
Wear more colors.
Write more poetry, good or bad.
Visit this castle. Or better yet, move into it.