Dear Superbowl XLIV,

You were the best Superbowl ever because you played my favorite Canadian indie-rock band, Arcade Fire, like twenty times. Also, Superbowl, you announced the rejuvenation of New Orleans—the comeback story of the decade. Does this mean George Bush finally cares about black people?

As if all of this Arcade Fire didn’t have me stoked enough, the people of Haiti got something out of it too. I just hope Pat Robertson doesn’t divert all the donations from the devil to Jesus. He’s already got the tithe.

I know you’re super busy, but I have a few questions for you:

1) Did Reggie Bush choose the song “Wake Up” For his super-cool slow-mo commercial?

2) Did Drew Brees crank Funeral in his son’s wicked-huge headphones to make his papa’s first superbowl victory all that more melodramatic?

3) Did that asshole Wayne Coyne donate anything to Haiti (aside from a shitty new album)?

4) I swore I heard Jim Nantz humming “Wake Up” when CBS came out of commercial break. Is this true?

5) Did this large-hearted gesture ensure the band duel-citizenship?

6) Is Grizzly Bear pissed that Arcade Fire stole the spotlight from their big crossover moment?

7) Did Win Butler blow coke off Kim Kardashian’s ass with Reggie Bush at the Superbowl after-party?

8] Will Girls perform at the Superbowl XLV halftime show? (They’re so rad!)

Thanks again, superbowl! Let’s go wake-boarding some time this summer!

xoxo, Smith