It was a pretty tragic week for bookworms across the world. On Wednesday we lost history buff, WWII veteran, and all-around genius Howard Zinn. Then reports surfaced that the reclusive and highly influential fiction writer J.D. Salinger had also passed. Double-whammy.
After work on Friday, the teachers from my school congregated for happy hour. Being the dorks we are, it didn’t take long for the conversation to head towards Zinn and Salinger, and eventually, an all-out Catcher in the Rye debate. While we all had different opinions about Salinger’s coming-of-age masterpiece, it was impossible for any of us to deny that the book had a marked effect on us—a feat that not too many other novels can claim across the board.
Sure, it’s been a few years since I spent time with him, but I got to thinking about Holden Caulfield. Along the way I started to wonder what kind of guy Holden would be if he were a young man in modern America. I wondered if he’d still drink scotch and sodas, abuse the words “goddam” and “chrissake,” and hate the shit out of the Lunts. Would he be like Nate Archibald? Or more like Jonathan Safran Foer? Then I thought it would be fun to think about what kind of music Holden would be into.
Even though I thought Holden was kind of a piss-ant the third time I read the book, there was ultimately something about him I liked. Hell, he introduced me to cynicism, drunk-dialing, and prostitution. So I figured his musical tastes would be kind of similar to that. No jock-jams or dance-music; but nothing extremely droll either. Maybe punk-rock seems like an obvious conclusion, but I don’t see that either. After all, remember that Holden couldn’t even make it with the prostitute. That’s not very punk-rock. His anti-conformity had more roots in withdrawal than the forthright punk aesthetic. No to punk. It would be something pseudo-preppy sounding. Something intellectual, and sort-of dweebish. Something pretty, but sad at its core.
A lot of bands that try to fit themselves into the “hyper-literate” niche came to mind (probably because I’m not sophisticated enough to decant Caulfield from Salinger’s pages). I considered The Decemberists, and while I think there was some great prose in earlier tunes such as “Here I Dreamt I Was an Architect” and “Los Angeles, I’m Yours,” I also think that a lot of Colin Meloy’s songwriting is caught up within itself—that is, within the fact that he’s writing as someone who’s supposed to be hyper-literate. I like Holden too much to imagine those guys on his iPod.
For a split second I thought about Vampire Weekend. But fuck them.
Then, something pushed me towards Belle & Sebastian. The sensitive Scottish indie-pop outfit comes across as a literate band without being obsessed with the idea, or resorting to polysyllabic tomfoolery. They’re definitely prep-school sounding, and considering they formed a band instead of becoming CPAs, I felt they were probably good candidates for prep-school dropouts. As I researched a bit online, I came across this little list from Spinner. It turns out Belle & Sebastian had a more tangible connection to Caulfield than I even knew. Intuition is a sonuvabitch.
B&S songs seem to always be battling for the nerd—not that Holden was a nerd, but he was at least a nerd-sympathizer. Their songs deal with a lot of Holden’s hang-ups: phonies, jocks, vapid humans, and general assholes. B&S songs sound like personal guffaws to former bullies (“Lord Anthony”), athletes (“Stars of Track and Field”), and theatric-types (“Dress Up In You”). The more I listened to some of my old records, the more I realized they were a perfect match. I can’t help but think that if Holden was around, he’d listen to Tigermilk, on vinyl of course, while wearing a scarf in 55-degree weather. He is a “White Collar Boy,” after all.
And what about Holden’s future? Would he spend an eternity in one of those rich-kid mental rest homes, prompting him to admit, “I’m a Cuckoo.” Or would he finally say, “My Wandering Days Are Over” and go to Dartmouth law school, becoming henceforth known as a “Legal Man?”
For chrissake–what a goddam phony sounding paragraph! Just download these too:
Belle & Sebastian – If You’re Feeling Sinister
I bet Holden would would have seomthing to say about Music Elitists if he were around today. I bet he would just be into the B-52s.
funny–for years the version of “downtown” on the B2s self-titled album reminds me of the dance scene with Holden and that stupid girl who really knocks him out on the dance floor.
B&S. Good call.
Finally a post worth my time. Blogs are just getting so boring nowadays. If only more people wrote like you..!
You post awsome posts. Bookmarked for future referrence !